I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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