We're like a lot better than the average bears
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
