i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
