i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
