you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
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The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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