Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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