i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
In America we eat man semen.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
