my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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