well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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