Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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