Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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