Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
