My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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