I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.