Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is