so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again