Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I seem to have left my pride at pride
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.