Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester (1-508): Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B http://tfl.nu/rngn
  Replies (5) Good night (1676) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo? http://tfl.nu/oqag
  Replies (16) Good night (2796) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised http://tfl.nu/005h
  Replies (47) Good night (2393) Bad night (5217)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj
  Replies (35) Good night (8446) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit http://tfl.nu/h4ki
  Replies (7) Good night (4662) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/zk30
  Replies (1) Good night (2283) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour.... http://tfl.nu/achx
  Replies (6) Good night (3886) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances http://tfl.nu/e227
  Replies (4) Good night (2182) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that. http://tfl.nu/zu4z
  Replies (9) Good night (1096) Bad night (2384)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina. http://tfl.nu/9b7c
  Replies (17) Good night (3335) Bad night (1850)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY http://tfl.nu/1b9m
  Replies (26) Good night (3098) Bad night (1243)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is. http://tfl.nu/4j3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2209) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina. http://tfl.nu/1cex
  Replies (11) Good night (857) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate. http://tfl.nu/leuc
  Replies (8) Good night (1225) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years. http://tfl.nu/m9m6
  Replies (12) Good night (831) Bad night (434)

Randomize