Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"

  (1-415): View more from California

  What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.

  (415): View more from California

  He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."

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  (415): And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!" (1-415): What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy. (415): He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie." http://tfl.nu/chbe
  Replies (27) Good night (1163) Bad night (9856)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.

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  (507): hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning. http://tfl.nu/ul21
  Replies (7) Good night (2386) Bad night (701)
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  (650): View more from California

  i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.

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  (650): i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head. http://tfl.nu/fao9
  Replies (9) Good night (1207) Bad night (3538)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.

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  (231): Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk. http://tfl.nu/0k6c
  Replies (5) Good night (4748) Bad night (874)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it

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  (704): see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it http://tfl.nu/o2df
  Replies (33) Good night (9532) Bad night (1424)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.

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  (413): Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question. http://tfl.nu/3n7q
  Replies (7) Good night (3198) Bad night (1095)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.

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  (630): He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding. http://tfl.nu/mxqh
  Replies (1) Good night (1344) Bad night (2643)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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  (815): She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water. http://tfl.nu/94yr
  Replies (8) Good night (5238) Bad night (1379)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.

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  (914): Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county. (1-914): You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud. http://tfl.nu/15gl
  Replies (3) Good night (2173) Bad night (753)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day

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  (404): I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day http://tfl.nu/nvho
  Replies (1) Good night (944) Bad night (915)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.

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  (303): Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/ft15
  Replies (5) Good night (889) Bad night (434)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...

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  (785): Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit... http://tfl.nu/w51i
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (328)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack

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  (979): Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack http://tfl.nu/vyx2
  Replies (7) Good night (788) Bad night (292)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.

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  (250): I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay. http://tfl.nu/u9js
  Replies (7) Good night (733) Bad night (416)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk

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  (304): I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk http://tfl.nu/ufvz
  Replies (0) Good night (372) Bad night (272)

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