i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.