You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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