great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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