maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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