summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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