Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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