That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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