Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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