you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
