moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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