its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
