So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
