and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
