I'm lost and stupid without you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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