your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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