My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
