end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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