ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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