So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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