I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
