I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
