Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize