Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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