I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
