I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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