Slut skills are useful in every country.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
