glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think your dad took our porno
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dick very happy bro
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
