i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
