Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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