I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
