He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
