just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
