Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
