Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
