I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
