Please, let me fuck your mom
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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