So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
