just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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