All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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