the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
