Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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