The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
