your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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