Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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