please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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