don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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