Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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