If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Are we in a gay sports bar?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize