Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
